Thursday, April 30, 2020

My 200th post!

April 30, 2020 | Toronto

JP12: What do you actually care about?

I've mentioned before how I struggle with expressing my emotions.  Growing up, I never learned a healthy way to communicate my thoughts with others because I was so afraid of being wrong or judged.  Confrontation, y'all, is such a hard skill I'm still trying to learn.  And don't even get me started on opening up to people and not being ashamed to tell my story.  Like when a friend asks 'how's it going'?  Listen, this is like one of the dreaded questions of all social interactions.  And I'm too quick to shut it down with 'nothing much, you?'.

When my friends make an effort to call me up at night, it seriously means the world.  I love to just listen to what's going on in their lives.  If there's ever any problem, I want to be there to listen.  But moreso, lately I've been getting out of my comfort zone and making it a two way exchange by sharing my thoughts and giving my opinions on their issue.  Because I think for me, it's so easy to forget that my friends do want to get to know me.  Like really get to know me and understand me and feel what I'm going through.  And so, when we call and we talk, like really talk, it means the world.  Because, that feeling of comfort and vulnerability is a quality in my friendships that I want to cherish.
Canon M50

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