*Two years later and I'm finally continuing Jo Franco's Journal Prompt series oops.
JP 13: Are you like your family? How so? How not?
When it comes to marriage, there's a big part of me that doesn't care for the title of being married. That's not to say I don't want to find the right partner to spend the rest of my life with. I would absolutely love that! I want nothing more than to be in a healthy, loving, relationship. I’m just very aware that I don’t want to settle or rush into things because I feel pressured to.
Right now, I don’t feel like I have the emotional intelligence to care for a child the way they deserve to be cared for, especially since they do not have a say in being born. I take that responsibly very seriously and I’m scared of not being able to be emotionally present for my child. I want my child and my partner to know and feel that they are loved deeply and endlessly and that I want nothing more than for them to be happy and good people. On the other hand, I do realize that I tend to talk down on my self and not give myself credit for the good in me.
Some of the things that I love about myself are things that I only realized recently. I love that I’m caring, empathetic, and loving. I show my love through spending quality time and and physical affection. I think I need more time learning how to love myself and love others so that I don’t repeat things that I saw and internalized growing up.
A few years ago, I had decided that getting married and having kids was an aspect of life that I was perfectly fine with not partaking in. For one, I feel as though many people want to get married and have kids for all the wrong reasons.
When it comes to marriage, there's a big part of me that doesn't care for the title of being married. That's not to say I don't want to find the right partner to spend the rest of my life with. I would absolutely love that! I want nothing more than to be in a healthy, loving, relationship. I’m just very aware that I don’t want to settle or rush into things because I feel pressured to.
Right now, I don’t feel like I have the emotional intelligence to care for a child the way they deserve to be cared for, especially since they do not have a say in being born. I take that responsibly very seriously and I’m scared of not being able to be emotionally present for my child. I want my child and my partner to know and feel that they are loved deeply and endlessly and that I want nothing more than for them to be happy and good people. On the other hand, I do realize that I tend to talk down on my self and not give myself credit for the good in me.
Some of the things that I love about myself are things that I only realized recently. I love that I’m caring, empathetic, and loving. I show my love through spending quality time and and physical affection. I think I need more time learning how to love myself and love others so that I don’t repeat things that I saw and internalized growing up.
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